How to Introduce Sex Toys Into Your Relationship
Sex toys can add fun, variety, and excitement to your sex life. But bringing them up with your partner can feel a bit nerve-wracking. You don’t want to make them uncomfortable or give the wrong impression. So how do you do it without things getting awkward?
Here’s how to introduce sex toys into your relationship in a way that feels natural, fun, and totally non-intimidating.
The idea of using sex toys together might seem daunting at first, but it’s worth considering. They’re not just for solo pleasure, many are designed specifically to enhance intimacy between partners. Whether you’re looking to spice things up, explore new sensations, or simply add an extra layer of excitement, sex toys can be a fantastic addition to your relationship.
A lot of couples are curious but hesitate to take the first step. Maybe you’re worried about how your partner will react. Perhaps you’re unsure where to start. That’s completely normal. The key is to approach the topic with openness and confidence. If you treat it as a natural and exciting exploration, your partner is more likely to be receptive.
Sexuality is deeply personal, and everyone has different comfort levels. Some people might be totally on board from the start, while others need time to adjust to the idea. There’s no right or wrong pace, what matters is that you and your partner feel comfortable every step of the way.
If you’ve never used sex toys before, you might not realise just how many options are out there. From simple enhancements like vibrating rings and bullet vibrators to more adventurous items like clitoral and G-Spot vibrators, there’s something for every couple. The trick is finding what works for you both.
Still feeling unsure?
That’s okay.
This guide will walk you through the process step by step.
By the end, you’ll know exactly how to bring up the topic, ease into the experience, and make it a fun, pressure-free addition to your relationship.
Let’s dive in.
Head on over to our Sex Toys Guide to learn more.
Start With a Conversation
Before you bring home a bag of battery-powered fun, talk about it first. Springing a sex toy on someone mid-action might not go down well, especially if they’ve never used one before.
Pick a relaxed moment when you're both comfortable and open to conversation. Maybe when you're cuddling on the sofa or having a casual chat in bed. Keep it light-hearted. You could say something like:
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"I read an article about couples using sex toys together, have you ever thought about it?"
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"I saw this thing online about sex toys for couples. Looks interesting. What do you think?"
This gives them a chance to share their thoughts without pressure. They might be curious, hesitant, or completely on board. Whatever their response, respect it and take things at a pace that works for both of you.
If they seem hesitant, ask them why. Sometimes people have misconceptions about sex toys. They might think toys are only for people who aren’t satisfied in their relationship, or that they replace a partner. Reassure them that this isn’t the case.
Sex toys are designed to enhance pleasure, not replace intimacy.
You can also bring up the health benefits. Studies show that vibrators can help improve circulation and arousal, and can even enhance orgasms for both partners. If your partner is someone who likes logic and facts, this might make them more open to the idea.
If they’re still unsure, suggest doing some research together. Watch a YouTube video reviewing couple-friendly toys or read an article about the benefits of adding toys to your sex life.
Top Tip: We have a lot of sex toy related articles in our blog, go check them out.
The more informed they are, the more comfortable they’ll feel.
Make It About Pleasure, Not Performance
Sex toys aren’t a replacement for you or your partner. They’re an enhancement. Some people worry that introducing a vibrator or a cock ring means they’re not good enough.
That’s not true.
Reassure your partner that this is about exploring new sensations together, not fixing anything. A toy is like adding a new ingredient to a favourite recipe, it doesn’t change the dish, just enhances the flavour.
If your partner seems unsure, start with something small and unthreatening.
A bullet vibrator, for example, is a simple addition to foreplay that doesn’t feel overwhelming.
Many men feel nervous about vibrators because they assume it’s competition. In reality, vibrators can enhance the experience for both partners. For example, a small bullet vibrator used during penetrative sex can stimulate the clitoris and increase pleasure for both of you. A vibrating cock ring can add a new level of sensation, making things more intense.
Think of it this way... if you enjoy giving your partner pleasure, wouldn’t you want to explore every possible way to make it better? That’s what sex toys do. They expand your options, not replace you.
Also, using a sex toy together can help take the pressure off performance. If one of you struggles with stamina or reaching orgasm, a toy can help level the playing field. Instead of worrying about who finishes first, you can both focus on enjoying the experience.
Read more: How to Make a Woman Orgasm
If your partner is still hesitant, start with something they control. Let them use a vibrator on you first so they can see how it works and feel comfortable with it. Once they see that it’s just a fun addition, they might be more open to using it together.
Shop Together and Make It Fun
Turn the experience into something exciting. Rather than secretly ordering a toy and hoping for the best, why not shop together?
If you prefer an in-person experience, some sex shops have a welcoming, friendly vibe. Staff can offer advice without making things awkward. If the idea of walking into a shop makes you both cringe, stick to online browsing with online shops like Skins Sexual Health.
Make it an adventure rather than a serious discussion. Grab a glass of wine, open up a few tabs, and browse together. Laugh at the weird-looking ones, read the reviews, and talk about what excites you.
The key is to keep it playful and open-minded. This isn’t about fixing a problem, it’s about adding more fun to your sex life.
Introduce Sex Toys Gradually
Start simple. A small vibrator, a cock ring, or a set of silky restraints can ease you both into the experience. Jumping straight into something advanced might be overwhelming.
Use the toy as an addition rather than the main event. Try incorporating it into foreplay or letting your partner use it on you first. This helps build comfort and confidence.
Check in with each other. Ask how it feels and if they’re enjoying it. Open communication makes the experience better for both of you.
If one of you isn’t feeling it, don’t push. There’s no rush. The goal is to explore and enjoy, not force something that doesn’t feel right.
If you find a toy you love, build it into your routine. Some couples find that using a toy together becomes a regular part of their sex life, while others prefer to mix it up occasionally. Do what works for you.
