Situationships - Guide to Sex in the Grey Area
What is a situationship?
A "situationship", now there’s a word that’s crept into our vocabulary in recent years, and for good reason. If you’ve ever found yourself in that murky grey area between casual dating and a full-blown relationship, congratulations, you’ve been in a situationship.
So, what exactly is it? Well, it’s not quite dating, not quite friends-with-benefits, and definitely not a committed relationship. It’s that confusing middle ground where you’re spending time with someone, maybe even acting like a couple, but without any clear labels or long-term expectations. It’s essentially a relationship without the commitment, which can be either a dream or a nightmare, depending on what you’re looking for.
The rise of situationships has a lot to do with modern dating culture. With dating apps making it easier than ever to meet new people, commitment has become a bit of a grey area. Gone are the days when courtship followed a predictable path of meeting, dating, and then settling down. Now, many people find themselves floating in undefined relationships, where emotions are involved but commitment is avoided.
What are the appeals of a situationship?
One of the biggest appeals of a situationship is flexibility. If you’re not ready for something serious, it allows you to enjoy the benefits of companionship without the pressures of a traditional relationship. There’s no need for deep discussions about the future, no obligations to meet the family, and no need to coordinate life plans. It’s all about living in the moment, which, for some, is ideal.
What are the negatives of a situationship?
Situationships can also be incredibly frustrating, especially if one person wants more than the other is willing to give. The lack of definition can lead to misunderstandings, mismatched expectations, and, let’s be honest, a lot of overthinking.
“What are we?” is a question that can hover over a situationship like a storm cloud. And because there are no clear rules, it can be difficult to navigate feelings, boundaries, and emotional attachments.
Another downside is that situationships can be a breeding ground for insecurity. When there’s no commitment, there’s no certainty. One day, everything might feel great, the next, you could find out that the other person is dating someone else. Without clear expectations, it’s easy to feel like you’re being led on, even if that wasn’t the intention.
Am I in a situationship?
So, how do you know if you’re in a situationship? If you’re seeing someone regularly, sharing intimacy, but avoiding the “what are we?” conversation, you’re probably in one. If you find that plans are always last-minute, discussions about the future are non-existent, and emotions are left unspoken, that’s another sign. The biggest giveaway? If you feel like you can’t ask for more commitment without scaring the other person away, you’re definitely in situationship territory.
Ultimately, whether a situationship is right for you depends on what you want. If you’re happy keeping things light and undefined, then great—enjoy it for what it is. But if you’re longing for something more stable and meaningful, it might be worth having an honest conversation or moving on. After all, you deserve clarity, not just crumbs of affection.
At the end of the day, a situationship is neither good nor bad, it’s just a modern way of navigating relationships. But if it’s leaving you feeling more confused than content, it might be time to rethink what you really want.
Anyyyyyway, as you’ve probably guessed, I - yes, me, the person writing this blog - has been there too. More times than I’d like to admit, actually. But hey, silver lining! I’ve picked up a few tips along the way, and I’m here to share them with you.
I know it’s something people go on about, and you’re probably tired of hearing it, but open and honest communication really is the key here. Nobody wants broken hearts that could’ve been avoided by just having a conversation (seriously, did we learn nothing from Normal People?).
Tip #1: Communication > Cryptic Text Messages
If you’ve ever sent a “what are we?” text and stared at the read receipts for longer than you care to admit, you know how hard it can be to just… talk about feelings. But here’s the thing: you deserve clarity, not breadcrumbs.
Channel your inner Taylor Swift and say what you need to say. If they freak out, at least you know - and hey, you’ll save on the endless over-analysis sessions with your mates.
Tip #2 - Protect Yourself - Literally
Let’s not forget the fun part of situationships - yep, we’re talking about the physical side of things. Whether you’re debating whose place to stay at or whose car to do the deed in, safe sex should always be a priority.
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It doesn’t matter if your “partner” is someone you see every weekend or just someone you accidentally matched with because you were bored (cough thanks, Hinge). You’re in control of your sexual health, and Skins is here to make sure you can enjoy yourself without any added stress.
Tip #3 - Know Your Worth
Here’s the tea: you are NOT an “almost.” You are the main character. You’re Barbie. You’re Beyoncé. You’re Pedro Pascal’s internet daddy energy all rolled into one fabulous human being. If someone is treating you like an afterthought, it’s time to pull a Dua Lipa and don’t pick up the phone.
A situationship can be fun for a while, but if it’s leaving you feeling more confused, then it’s time to reassess. Sure, they might have abs like a Love Island contestant, but if they can’t figure out how to spell “relationship,” it’s not worth it.
Final Thoughts
Life’s too short to waste time on someone who isn’t sure about you. It’s okay to set boundaries, to ask questions, and to walk away if things aren’t working. And hey, if you do decide to stick around, at least make sure you’re taking care of yourself - physically and emotionally.
So go ahead, grab yourself a pack of Skins condoms (or two), light a candle, and remember: the best situationship is the one you have with yourself.
Now, excuse me while I rewatch Normal People and scream into a pillow over Marianne and Connell’s lack of communication… again.
