How to Make a Woman Orgasm
Let's be honest guys, when it comes to make a woman or a person with a vulva orgasm, there's a fair bit of misinformation floating about. If Hollywood were to be believed, all it takes is three thrusts, some heavy breathing, and a well-placed smoldering glance.
In reality? Not quite.
For most people that engage in vaginal sexual activities, the orgasmic odyssey often leaves those giving the pleasure perplexed.
If you've ever found yourself wondering whether the earth moved for her or if she was just politely waiting for you to finish so she could get back to her Netflix binge. Fear not, you're in the right place as we are here to help you navigate the wonderfully complex, yet completely conquerable, world of female pleasure.
We're talking science, technique, mindset, and (most importantly) actually listening to what she enjoys.
Because...
*Spoiler Alert*
Not all women are the same!
So buckle up, put your ego aside, and prepare to take your bedroom skills from "enthusiastic amateur" to "certified giver of mind-blowing orgasms".
Ready?
Let's dive in.
How Can Women Reach an Orgasm?
Firstly, it's important to understand that many women don't climax every time they engage in penetrative sex as many deserve an Oscar to help satisfy the fragile male ego. However, this isn't because they're incapable of reaching the 'Big O', more often than not, it's down to men not knowing what they're doing.
Lads, it's never too late to put in the effort to ensure your lady gets pleasure out of your intimate sessions together. With a little knowledge, patience and the right technique, you can easily up your skills.
Understand that Foreplay is Everything
Research is consistently indicating that men typically engage in less extended foreplay to what a woman desires. Obviously research generalises this but there is no denying that studies often show that women place a significantly higher value on foreplay as a key player of reaching orgasm. Whereas men may prioritise penetration to climax which can ultimately lead to a gap in satisfaction if the partner with a penis doesn't adequately engage in foreplay. For many relationships, this may become a root cause to a toxic and argumentative relationship.
Therefore, if you think sex starts at penetration then you've already lost. Women don't get turned on like flipping a switch, it's more like a slow burn. Build the anticipation, explore her erogenous zones (this can vary from person to person), kiss her, touch her, tease her and pay specific attention to the areas that they crave and deserve, like the nipples and clitoris.
Just don't rush to the main event.
Want to know more? Check out our Guide to Foreplay.
Learn to Love the Clitoris
Repeat after me, The clitoris is king. Or queen, in this case. It's the most sensitive part of her body, packed with thousands of nerve endings, and for most women, it's the key to orgasm. Whether you're using your hands, mouth or something else, spend time here. Slow, consistent stimulation is usually better than frenzied enthusiasm, so take your time.
Sex is in the Mind
If she's not relaxed, she's not going to orgasm... It's simple as that!
Women's pleasure is just as mental as it is physical. If she's stressed, self-conscious, or feeling pressured, it's not happening. Create an environment where she feels comfortable, confident, and most importantly... desired.
As cliche as it may sound, try cooking for her, running her a bath, light some candles, put on some music, pour her a glass of her favourite wine and give her compliments.
Communicate (and actually listen)
Want to know the quickest way to improve your skills? Ask her what she likes. No two women are the same, so what worked on your ex won’t necessarily work here. Encourage her to tell you what feels good, and when she does, pay attention. You may not get it right the first time but don't worry, she'll appreciate the effort.
Just keep communicating with her, she'll thank you later when it happens!
Stop Making It About You
A female orgasm isn't just a checkbox on your sexual CV. It's not about proving how good you are, it's about making sure she enjoys herself. If you go in with an attitude of giving rather than getting, then the rewards will be far greater for the both of you.
Master these, and you won't just be a good liver, you'll be unforgettable!!!
Attempt Different Methods
Orgasms can be achieved through clitoral stimulation and internal stimulation via the G-Spot.
While clitoral stimulation is very effective is reaching orgasm, targeting the G-Spot is a very good alternative.
How to Achieve a Clitoris Orgasm?
If you’re serious about giving a woman mind-blowing orgasms, the clitoris should be your best friend. It’s the most sensitive pleasure point, and for the majority of women, it’s the key to climax. Unlike penetrative orgasms, which can be trickier to achieve, clitoral stimulation is a surefire way to take her over the edge, if you do it right.
1. Mix Up Your Approach
As we have touched on previously, no two women are the same, and what works for one might not for another. The key is variety and attentiveness. Here are some winning approaches:
- Hands-On Action – Use your fingers to gently circle, flick, or apply pressure to the clitoris. Pay attention to her reactions to find the perfect rhythm and intensity.
- Toy Time – Vibrators can work wonders for clitoral stimulation. Clitoral vibrators often hold the key for women or those with a vulva. Experiment with different speeds and sensations to discover what she enjoys most. At Skins Sexual Health, we have a wide range of sex toys that can either be used for solo or partnered play, check them out today.
- Double the Pleasure – If she enjoys penetration, combine it with clitoral play. Whether it’s your fingers, a toy, or your tongue, the added stimulation can create an explosive blended orgasm.
- Layered Sensation – Get creative by using multiple techniques at once, such as a vibrating toy on the clitoris while your fingers explore elsewhere. The more you engage different erogenous zones, the more intense the orgasm can be.
Recommended Clitoral Vibrators
- Skins Rose Buddies
- Skins Minis - The Bijou Bunny
- Skins Minis - The Scream Egg
- Skins Super Excite Pink Bullet
2. Lubrication is Key
Friction can quickly turn pleasure into discomfort, so don’t skip the lube! A good-quality lubricant enhances sensation, makes movements smoother, and helps avoid any unwanted irritation. Whether you’re using your hands, mouth, or a toy, a little extra glide can make all the difference. A water based lube is perfect for enhancing pleasure and are compatible with silicone toys too.
Read Her Cues
Clitoral stimulation is all about feedback. Watch her body language, listen to her breathing, and encourage her to guide you. Some women love direct pressure, while others need a lighter touch. The more you communicate and adapt, the better the experience will be, for both of you.
Want to know more about clitoral toys? Read our 'What is a Clitoral Vibrator?" blog to discover more.
How to Give a Woman a Vaginal Orgasm
When it comes to female pleasure, an internal vaginal orgasm is often seen as the holy grail, elusive, mysterious, and, for some, seemingly impossible. But here’s the truth: while not every woman experiences orgasm purely through penetration, it is possible with the right technique, patience, and a solid understanding of her body.
So, if you’re looking to level up your bedroom skills and give her an orgasm that leaves her shaking, let’s break it down.
1. Foreplay is Non-Negotiable
If you think you can skip foreplay and dive straight in, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Women need time to warm up, both physically and mentally. Take your time with kissing, teasing, and clitoral stimulation before you even think about penetration. The more aroused she is, the more sensitive her vaginal walls become, increasing her chances of orgasm.
2. Hit the Right Spots
Unlike the clitoris, which is easier to find, vaginal pleasure points take a bit more skill to locate. Here’s where to focus:
- The G-Spot – Located a few inches inside the vaginal wall (towards the belly), this spongy, sensitive area responds well to firm, rhythmic pressure. Try using your fingers in a “come hither” motion before switching to penetration.
- The A-Spot – Deeper inside, near the cervix, this area is highly sensitive for some women. Slow, deep thrusts can create incredible pleasure when stimulated correctly.
- The Perineal Sponge – Located on the back wall of the vagina, just opposite the G-spot, stimulating this area can add to her pleasure and intensify her orgasm.
3. The Right Technique Matters
Not all thrusting is created equal. Instead of just going fast and hard (which rarely works), try varying your movements:
- Rhythm & Depth – Start slow, focusing on deep, deliberate strokes. Switch between shallow and deep thrusts to increase sensitivity.
- Angle Control – Experiment with different positions to hit her pleasure points. Positions like doggy style (angling slightly upwards) or missionary with her legs raised can provide better G-spot stimulation.
4. Communication is Key
Want to know the best way to make her orgasm? Ask her what feels good. Every woman is different, so encourage her to guide you, whether with words, moans, or subtle movements. The more you listen, the better you’ll become.
5. Introducing Sex Toys
If you’re looking to give your partner deeper, more intense orgasms then introducing sex toys into your relationship is key. A G-Spot vibrator is a game-changer. Designed to target the G-spot, a highly sensitive, spongy area a few inches inside the vaginal wall, these toys provide firm, rhythmic stimulation that can lead to toe-curling pleasure.
Choosing the Right G-Spot Vibrator
Not all vibrators are created equal. Look for one with a curved shape and a firm yet flexible tip, as this makes it easier to apply targeted pressure. Adjustable vibration settings are also essential, some women prefer deep, rumbling sensations, while others enjoy higher frequencies.
Read more: What is a G-Spot Vibrator?
Recommended G-Spot Vibrators
- Skins Minis - Massage A Trois
- Skins Minis - The Sweet G-Spot Vibrator
- Skins Touch - The Glee Spot
- Skins Touch - The Rabbit
- Skins Touch - The Wand
How to Use it For Maximum Effect
Start with plenty of foreplay to build arousal. Apply lubricant to reduce friction and enhance sensation. Insert the vibrator slowly, angling it upwards towards the belly. Use gentle rocking or circular motions to stimulate the G-Spot, adjusting intensity based on her reactions.
For an even more explosive orgasm, combine clitoral stimulation with the G-Spot vibrations. Many women find blended orgasms to be the most powerful. A rabbit vibrator sex toy is the ideal solution for achieving this.
The key? Patience, communication, and experimentation. Get it right, and she’ll be coming back for more, literally.
How to Make a Woman Orgasm From Oral
If you want to be a truly great lover, mastering oral sex is non-negotiable. For many women, it’s the fastest, most reliable way to orgasm, when done right. So, let’s break it down and ensure you’re giving her an experience she won’t forget.
Read more: Better Oral, Better Sex: Essential Cunnilingus Tips You Need to Know
1. Take Your Time with Foreplay
The build-up is just as important as the act itself. Kiss her thighs, tease her with your breath, and let anticipation drive her wild.
Rushing straight in like a starved animal? Not sexy.
2. Get the Technique Right
The clitoris is the main attraction here. Use your tongue in slow, consistent motions that may be circles, figure eights, or soft flicks.
Avoid being too rough or using too much pressure too soon.
The key? Steady, controlled movements that build intensity gradually.
3. Bring in Flavoured Lube
Want to enhance the experience for both of you? Try flavoured lube. It not only makes things taste better (goodbye, inhibitions) but also adds a smooth, extra-stimulating glide. Opt for something like strawberry, mango & passionfruit, chocolate, or even salted caramel to make things deliciously fun.
4. Use Your Hands Too
For maximum pleasure, combine oral with finger play. A gentle “come hither” motion on her G-spot while your tongue works her clitoris? That’s a recipe for an explosive orgasm.
5. Pay Attention to Her Reactions
If she’s moaning, breathing heavier, or gripping the sheets, you’re on the right track... keep doing what you’re doing. Speed up or slow down based on her cues, and don’t stop just because you think she’s close.
Let her guide you to the finish line.
Conclusion
Making a woman orgasm is a complex operation but one that is very rewarding for both parties. The key is communication, listening and the willingness to put in the effort.
Utilising sex toys and lubricants can play a vital part in the process too so ensure you're ready.
FAQs
1. How long does it take for a woman to orgasm?
There’s no exact time, it varies for every woman. On average, it can take anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes of continuous stimulation. The key is foreplay, patience, and consistency. Rushing things won’t do you any favours.
2. What's the best way to stimulate the clitoris?
The clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman’s body, and gentle, rhythmic stimulation is key. Use your tongue, fingers, or a vibrator, and don’t apply too much pressure too soon. Pay attention to her reactions and let her guide you.
3. Can all women orgasm from penetration?
No, most women don’t orgasm from penetration alone. The majority need clitoral stimulation, either separately or in combination with penetration. Positions that stimulate the G-Spot, like doggy style or missionary with legs raised, can help.
4. Does lube help with orgasms?
Absolutely. Lubrication enhances pleasure by reducing friction and increasing sensitivity. Flavoured lubes can also make oral sex more enjoyable for both of you, turning it into a fun, sensual experience.
5. How do I know if she's faking an orgasm?
If she’s completely silent one second and moaning like a pornstar the next, she might be putting on a show. Look for real signs like increased breathing, muscle tension, and involuntary movements. The best way to know?
Ask her what she likes and focus on giving, not just performing.
6. What's the best position for making her orgasm?
It depends on the woman! Positions that stimulate the G-Spot, like cowgirl, missionary with a pillow under her hips, or doggy style, tend to be the most effective. But the best position? Whatever she enjoys most.
7. How important is communication in making her orgasm?
It’s everything. Every woman is different, so ask her what she likes, pay attention to her body language, and adjust accordingly. Confidence is sexy but thinking you know it all isn’t. Listen, learn, and enjoy the journey.
